Hormones aren't just in teenagers...

Preface this post by saying there isn't a stitch of WOD reference in here, I'm having a mental heath/confessional type day... you'll understand if you keep reading, and if you don't (keep reading), I understand... there are days I don't want to hear anything about that, so I don't blame you for waiting till the next post.  

I've talked about sleep, and it's importance once already.  I'm going to do it again, because I'm living it again. My last post had me packing up and leaving PHL airport...well, that was my plan.  Life had other plans.  Without going into all the details (not that I actually know them), but our plane had the equivalent of the alternator go out, and we couldn't leave...I don't remember when we finally departed, but I want to say it was around midnight EST.  So I didn't get home till about 2 CST...with work calls starting at 0730, it's clear I'm not going to get anywhere near the sleep I need to support my new found lifestyle.

Ok, so whats all this about hormones and teenagers?  I'm willing to bet you're probably out of your awkward years if you're reading this, but you remember them.  You don't necessarily remember the hormones, but you do remember making some...questionable decisions from time to time.  Maybe that was just me?   Well when you miss sleep, your body makes, or doesn't make, several key hormones.  Hormones are needed for growth and other key functions that you and I don't care too bits about while we're awake.  I was attempting to add some new found knowledge by Googling (if thats how you spell it...pretty sure its not a word), but I found lots of cools stuff that I didn't go to school for and won't needlessly shovel down your throat.  http://bit.ly/1rZ8UuN Click the link to help you along if you're looking for the real science. 

Again, what are you talking about here buddy?  Well, I'm beating around the bush to tell you that I'm a hormonal wreck.  I can promise you that whatever just came to mind with the phrase hormonal wreck, has in some capacity happened to me today.  Highs, lows, and strange moods in between.  I'm having this paradox of wanting to be open and writing all these feelings down to share with everyone...all from a lack of sleep, or "being a man" about this and claming up.  Bear with me a sec....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
ok, artistic integrity...or something like that demands that I continue.

***I scrolled back up to write this... it's about to get a little emotional, little bit hormonal, and real messy...feelings being shared and what not... I said I was confessing...don't judge me...I'm complicated...***

I'm at home right now, work is over for the day, and I was eating dinner...and I'm suddenly very melancholy.  I love being home, I love seeing my family a few days a week..., my wife's been an excellent cook (she's working on the paleo stuff with me now, don't worry).  Life should be good, but I'm just not here right now, I'm not really where I want to be.  I'm sore, I'm tired, and the only place I want to be is CFDS.  If that doesn't make me an addict, I don't know what does.  Having withdrawal symptoms and it's only been two days.  Maybe it's something else.

Maybe...maybe it's love.  I'm in love with my peoples and my box.  Is it too soon to say I love you?  I know romcom's cover this all the time, I've never found the right answer to when it's appropriate.  One week, one month, one year?  Should I wait for them to say if first?  I don't know what the right answer is.  Maybe it comes down to the cliche 'when you know, you know'. 

Now I write that in part to be funny, to make you laugh, maybe say "wow, this guy..." in your head, but I also very much mean it...and I'm not sure if it's my hormones talking or not.  I feel very naked right now...very raw, and I'm really debating deleting this whole thing...

I guess this has been that one thing I was missing, that last piece that has given me...not purpose, but a drive?  Focus maybe?  I've haven't really had something that drove me like this in a long time.  It makes me so hap...

Sorry, had to go there.

Back to the story...I've really lucked out, I've found something special that I really can't get the words out to explain to you.  It's funny, I go back to the CFDS site: http://crossfitdiamondstate.com/ and I just scroll down...

WE'RE A COMMUNITY
WE SET GOALS
WE WORK HARD
WE HAVE FUN

Just re-read them all after typing that all out, I find a great deal of truth in each and every statement, especially after having been here for three weeks.  CFDS follows each of these, and I'm sure a box near you hold similar truths. 

It's funny, I keep reading things again on our site...things I've probably read more than once before, but now they all hit home.  My favorite is the About Us at the bottom of the home page:

CrossFit Diamond State is a community of hard-working, extremely passionate, goal driven personal coaches and we promise to always challenge you and forever change you. 

I underlined and bolded that last part after realizing that I am changed.  I'm forever changed.  I'll always have CFDS to thank for that, and I'll always be #diamondstrong underneath everything else.   Thank you Gia, Randi, Laura, Andy, Chris, and Eli (whom I've yet to meet) for being such great coaches, mentors, and friends in such a short time.  It's only been 3 weeks, but in some ways it feels like I've been here forever (or at least from day one).

Alright. 

I think I'm under control of myself again...

Yeah, I'm now tapped out, 'man guard' is back up and I'm heading out the door in a few minutes to start my weekend right... or at least help a friend start his right.  Let this be a lesson to you all, especially you new people... you might not have quite the sudden urge to profess your love for this new thing called CrossFit in your life, but if you don't get enough sleep, you're not going to have many sudden urges at all. 

Keep giving me ideas, and keep asking me questions online, or in person, I love it, and it gives us something to talk about.

It's so far past my bedtime it's not even funny.  Have a great weekend, catch you back up on Monday unless I have an epiphany.  Thanks for taking the time to read through all that... I'm nor sure if I should be congratulatory on consolatory.  Either way I appreciate you hanging in there on this one.  I've got a big heart, like to share from the deep end of it from time to time. 

TCN
Head Kool-Aid drinker and occasional over sharer.