They feel squishy

What?  Squishy?  You can't be serious, check again.  "Yep, still squishy". 

Thats was the jist of a conversation with the Mrs this morning, after my 3rd session this week.  Feeling a bit swole today, and so I tempted the fates with a flex... apparently taking most of 2 months off has had an impact on my biceps... and probably other muscles.  Time to get those back. 

So 3rd time this week... decent start to getting back on the grind full time.  Success never goes on sale, and I'm behind on my payments.  More upper body work, supersets.  DB  benching, strict press, bent over DB row, and bent over barbell row's among other things.  Shoulder was weak/hurting again today, but not as badly as before.  I'm beginning to think it's just a strength issue.  I mobilized pretty well, and wasn't using any bad form.  Will keep an eye on that. 

Overall, solid workout, need to spend even more time mobilizing though.  It's cold.  Winter is coming.

Food hasn't been on point, still working that out.  Need to get a good microwaved egg recipe so I can bring a good paleo breakfast to work.   

The winds of change

Been so busy with other things, have neglected the blog a tiny bit.  I've been struggling with the diet, getting to the box, getting adequate sleep... really, getting anything I need to effect this change I'm trying to make.  That's all changing this week.  Monday I... and to sound blasphemous to the religious folks, I rededicated myself to the change, and not just the idea of the change.  Go to the box Monday morning, had a good, solid workout, and ate mostly paleo for the first time in a long time. 

Didn't get to the box on Tuesday like I'd planned, but I did eat well. 

Today, bad breakfast (breakfast pizza) after a solid couple of AMRAP style workouts.  Still working out the kinks.  Need to plan better.  Tweaked my shoulder again with these AMRAPs, BUT, it wasn't as bad as the first time I did them, I anticipated the issue and did a bit of extra, targeted stretching.  Next time it should be a non issue. 

So, back to this rededication.... saw the doc on Monday, and my numbers are off.... and not in the right direction.  My weight plateau remains... actually I've put 5 lbs back on (to be fair I weighed late in the day after lunch), and my blood pressure isn't as good as it should be.  I think the ketones have a little bit to do with it, and they aren't BAD numbers, just higher than normal.  I have my baseline again though, back for bloodwork in 6 weeks, expecting progress like back in the beginning.... working toward progress like back in the beginning, how about that. 

The rest of this is just random thoughts, bear with me as I put it on paper,so I can have it somewhere to reference.  It's not all CrossFit related.   

Started my "work for an hour" initiative after work.  Consists of educational reading for at least 15 minutes (currently a book called the Relaxation Response).  The rest of the time working on things around the house or things that will help me become job optional.  Current projects: rearrange/clean out the basement and storage room, making a cut and paste video game, writing a book.  Big things, and they're all in motion.  

I used to bemoan the fact that I traveled, and it was hard to eat on the road.  It's harder to eat at home.  2 months now at home, and injury aside, it's not all sunshine and roses.  No excuse for eating poorly, I have all the stuff here, just need to buy the right things, and stop being lazy, cook the food and bring it to work.  This IS in progress... see a snake, (problem) kill a snake.  Chasing victory now. 

Ketones.  Ran out.  No withdrawal symptoms.  DID notice inflammation again for the first time in a while, probably since I started.  While I didn't lose weight on them, I did have a large reduction in inflammation which has been nothing short of awesome.  The mental aspect (increased focus, decreased (eliminated) dependency on caffeine, general well being) have been nothing short of phenomenal.  Dropping that 1-2 5hour energy a day habit has been such a blessing.  It was starting to impact me in a negative way, so curbing that AND eliminating my mid afternoon drowsiness we're awesome, unforeseen consequences.  If you're tired of being tired, want some better focus, and some inflammation control, all in one easy to mix/drink powder, this stuff is nothing short of amazing.  There are several other testimonials with different positive experiences as well.  I highly recommend you at least checking this stuff out.  http://4ebr54.pruvitnow.com/

Calf is feel better.   I'm doing more with it daily, but still trying not to push it very fast, very far.  Don't want anymore pulls or pops.  Did a powerclean today at 115, just to get it up on the rack, and it was awesome.  I can't wait to get back into all the other lifts.  Soon. 

Back on the ketones for a second, took last week off work, didn't take any Keto//OS that week.  Knee that has been taking the brunt of not using the other leg so much... super inflamed, irritated, hurt all the time.  Past three days, been back on the ketones.... pain and inflammation are very much reduced.  No NSAIDs needed. 

Water intake has been poor, getting that back up.  I think getting back in the box will help me improve this. 

Morning workouts still suck, I miss my pm people, and the morning music sucks too.  I miss Unlocked and some of my favorite WOD playlists.  I rather much rather workout with Jeff Peets country music, than the stuff I have to listen too... and I don't think country makes very good workout music, if that gives you an idea. 

I feel like I'm missing some stuff, but this works for now.  The winds of change are blowing again.  Can't wait. 

grumble grumble

HEY!  Two days in a row, been a long time since that's happened.  I can tell you this, I'm beyond ready to be back in a normal class.  This self imposed working out in a vacuum... sucks... and might be part of the reason I strained something in my shoulder.  Really, I should have warmed up with the class in progress, THEN gotten into my other stretches.  Probably would have mitigated this.  It's hard to remember it's been a month plus since I've really, truly gotten after it. 

Today was supposed to be 30 minutes of METCON.  I got 20 in before kaputski.  First set was 10 minutes of 7 ring rows, 7 strict press at 75lbs, and 40 battle ropes swings.  I noticed my shoulder... or really my whole left arm not being in it on the very first strict press set.  Made the ropes and everything else difficult after that.  10 minutes of hell... shoulder, left arm seeming to get weaker after every round.  Ended up 5+3.  Not great.

Next up was supposed to be 7 ring pushups, 14 calorie row, 21 KB swings.  The class was using the rowers, so I did some plate pull thingys that I made up on the spot.  Probably complete @ss, but I tried.  The ring pushups didn't feel right, I need to get with Brian on those again.  The KB swings, were AMAZINGLY difficult to string together today.  I'm going to blame it on the shoulder... because I don't know what else could cause it to suck so badly.  Put down the pood too many times.  Ended up with 4 rounds even in 10 minutes.  Need to pick up it up.  

After that, I was dragging the rope back to the box, and putting some things up, when I made the call to stop.  I left the box, got halfway through the parking lot, then had to come right back, forgot my phone.  In that short time, my shoulder tightened up tremendously.  Going to be a long day. 

Objects at rest...

Man alive.  Getting out of bed was a chore today.  Didn't hear the alarm for the longest time, and then, after I turned it off, I had a moment of pause.  I'm comfy, it's raining out, I haven't been to the gym in almost two weeks... whats one more day?  Back to sleep it was. 

Kidding. 

Struggled to get out though.  It was a long pause in bed with the do I star or do I go... But I went.  Of course, as you'd expect, I'm glad I did. 

Did the same workout I started the last time I went in, and it's probably the post right below this.  Used similar weights (lightened up the bent over rows).  Everything else was the same.  The bench press was easier than last time, so thats muscle.  :)  I also think I improved my quickest row time a little... and without cheating with extra full pulls. 

Punked out on the airdyne.  Used the BS excuse that I had to get to work... which I do, but not so quickly that I have to stop mid airdyne and bounce.  Next weeks airdyne is actually 12 minutes in a row.  I'm looking forward to that, much so over 3 5 minutes sessions.  I'm weird about that stuff. 

Short post, need to dive into work today.  More to come, making changes, stuff to get myself on the correct, sustainable path. 

Stuggling to stay positive, to stay motivated

So last week was supposed to be my ticket back to solid workouts and getting this fitness train back on track....   well, it started out well, we can say that.  Breakdown of the last week:

Monday, I started coming down with something that night, didn't feel well at all. 

Tuesday, missed with illness, not a big deal, we'll get back on Thursday!

Wednesday, got labs drawn, hopped on a scale.... I've built so much muscle to replace the fat, that I haven't lost any weight in months... while my clothes are fitting looser than ever, I'm not dropping on the scale, very discouraging, especially when I wanted to loose a cool 100 this year.  Amazingly, this wasn't the only setback of the day.  I'm also still sick, oh, and I pulled my calf.  No pop this time, but definitely a "slow the eff down" moment.  I was walking.  WALKING, and it pulled.  Disheartening to say the least.  Can't even walk now... so upsetting. 

Thursday and Friday we're more of the same, sickness, rehab. 

Saturday, I spent most of the day asleep, in a NyQuil induced coma. 

Sunday, more rest. 

Monday morning, I feel better, but I didn't get up to go to the box,  Aiming to start that back up Tuesday, or Thursday.  Rehab seems to be going better, I'm trying to do more and more of it this time.  Tired of being out of class.  Thankful to Brian for putting together stuff to do in the mean time, but I'd like to get back to quality bar work.  I'd even take snatching right now...   le sigh

Royal Pains

Alright, lots of things to catch up on.  First, big ups to the Royals for winning their first World Series in quite a while.  I haven’t followed baseball at all since the strike (yes THAT strike from like 20 years ago), but I've been a Royals fan my whole life, so it's good to see them get some well-deserved shine.

Which leads me to the a typical “man, I'm tired”.  Up late to watch them win the series, then got up early to get on this new training plan.  Why a new training plan?  Let me tell you a story.... or continue the narrative of the last story.  Past 4 weeks, been recovering from shearing the muscles in my calf.  Coming along really well.  Last Wednesday, went and saw my guy Dennis Dolan, and he did something different.  Put my ankle up on a foam roller (I'm lying face down on the floor).  I don't know exactly what he did, but it felt like he was using his heel, or something like that, and providing pressure from left to right (as opposed to up and down) across the muscle fibers.  He said it was breaking up some of the things the north/south doesn't get. 

It hurt. 

Quite a bit actually.  I think a few times he tried to get me to squirm or cry out a little...  don't know that for sure, I just suspect it.  Either way, it didn't happen.  It got bad enough that I bit my hand rather than cry out.  #prideissues  By the time he was done, he said he was very impressed that I didn't cry out or complain loudly.  When I got up, there were sweat marks where my forearms had been... so I sweated the pain out...  pretty sure that’s a natural response to pain.  Even if it’s not, it might give you an idea how it felt. 

The end result though, I was finally able to squat squat.  Like not just down with a lean to the rights, but down evenly (mostly)... first time in a month.  AWESOME!!  I had some new mobility stuff to work on in the coming week or so, then I was going to clear myself for active duty.  Finally!  #cantwait  Fast forward to the next day, about midday.  Was going down the stairs at work, at close to a normal pace (faster than I'd been going the past month), and about 3/4 of the way down the second set of stairs, I fell a pop. 

No. 

Please God no!

Fuck!

Started tightening up instantly.  I had somewhere to be, so I just hobbled along...  but man...  When I got back to my desk, folks on my team we're like are you alright?  Just shook my head.  Took everything in my not to start tearing up.  Gave them the brief rundown and got some condolences and sympathy.  I tell you what, I've finally had that experience that feeling where you're so frustrated/angry you start to cry.  I’d always been able to empathize with people that did it, but now I can actually sympathize a little.  I didn't cry mind you, I'm a man (I just puffed out my chest while sitting here… for the visual), but man I wanted too. 

Thankfully, this “pop” felt like a much smaller one than the first time, and sitting here a few days later, it's definitely not as bad as the initial.  Still, I'm back to the easy stuff, working my way back to traditional WODs. 

Alright, so, as you can tell by the dates of my last posts, I haven't been posting much, and thats because I haven't been Wodding much.  I could still walk, but I was trying to take it easy, work my way back into the box.   Didn’t feel like typing it all out with no new updates.  This time, that won’t be the case… it can’t be, I’m losing too much ground on my goals.  Thus, yesterday I spent time with Brian yesterday, had to hire him to make me some tailored workouts for me over the next 4-6 weeks.  Today was day one, which started much too early for me... but I still went and got it done.

Did some banded stretching, pvc passthru's, static holds, things like that, then 5 rounds of a medium weight bent over rows.  95# seems to be a bit heavy for doing that in sets of 10... I had struggles... so that might lighten, depending on what coach says.  After that, some good ol' fashioned bench press.  It was another 5 rounds of sets of 10, with ascending weight.  205 was my last PR, but I wasn't pushing it up 10 times in a row... I made what I thought was a sensible decision of 95.  95 was kinda rough... but I pushed on, adding 10lbs each time.  The last set at 125 had me stopping at 5, 7, and 9th reps.  Stopping being just holding the bar up...  Almost to the point of needing a spotter. 

After all that, it was some rowing and air dyne.  The rowing was 6-250m rows with 2 minutes rest, and then 3 sets of 5 minutes for max calories on the air dyne.  The rowing sucked... not because it was rowing, but because it was short rowing.  I'm going to partial (think 25%) depth, before starting the pull.  Trying to minimized the calf impact.  All times were sub 1 minute, so I guess that's good, considering how much I lose from a full pull.  The air dyne was wicked.  Had to push from mid foot instead of the balls of my feet (again, trying to minimize the calf impact).  Legs wanted to die.  Interesting thing there was I improved each time... pushing myself harder each time.  71, 75, and 79 I believe (have to check).  Need to get that up to 100 calories in 5 minutes... I've got goals, and more importantly, someone to beat (looking at you Herm). 

I stated to walk out of the box as soon as I was done, but I felt a lot of… I don’t know if pressure is the right word, but I felt a lot of something in my quads… a swollen feeling, so instead of just sitting down, I went and grabbed a roller.  I didn’t stick around for long, did a few passes on just my quads, I was in a hurry, but the little bit I did was better than the nothing I Was going to do.  Need to get into the habit of rolling everything. 

So, thats me catching up to now.  I’m sore in the arms and shoulders while sitting here… I expect tomorrow to be some rope work (big rope fixed to an “anchor” type stuff).  We’ll see. 

Still doing the Keto//OS.  I’ve got my annual labs for work on Wednesday, so we’ll see what impact it’s had on those, as well as get a new baseline weight to go off of.  The mental benefits are amazing on this stuff, and for that reason alone I’m going to continue to use it.  No cobwebs, no mid-day drowsiness, amazing focus.  I haven’t had to take the 1-2 5hour energies I was drinking DAILY to make it through.  Another benefit I’ve gotten has been the reduction of inflammation.  Spectacular.  This whole calf injury, I probably should have been on 6-800mg of ibuprofen every few hours.  I haven’t needed any.  It’s pretty awesome stuff.  That’s my testimonial, that’s how it’s helped me.  You owe it to yourself to check it out.  http://4ebr54.pruvitnow.com/  #pruvit

With that, I’m getting back to work, lunch break is over.  Catch you guys and gals later, thanks for sticking with me!

The mostly triumphant return is here.

Like the Dennis Green post game tirade goes "they are who we thought they were!"  I'll say this, it's good to be back in the box.  I'm actually writing this two days later, got really busy with my new role at work and I'm trying to make a good impression....   to the Dennis Green post though, I knew I was going to be sore later from a few weeks off... but it's still an adjustment, whether you know it's coming or not.  LOLOL

Did most of the workout as best I could.  Sarge (Brandon Koontz) wasn't having any of my weak willed "this is my first WOD back" excuses.... like I wanted to do sub situps for flagpole/dragonflies... They go by several names, but those are the ones I know, it's a T2B modification, you lay on the ground, hold the rig, and get your toes to it.  That part is easy, but then BK was like ok, now that you're up there, get your feet as high as you can... WHOA.  Whole different exercise now.  Feet to the bar, no problem, get them higher, much more of a challenge.  I mean I'm pushing my feet an extra 12-18" up the bar.  I felt it very much after 2 reps.  10 minute AMRAP of 10 reps of this, and 250m row.  There were a number of times that I failed... like I kinda got up there... or I'd not quite do it right and...  just meh.  Thats all I can say.

Glad I got pushed... really glad looking back.  

Some of the other stuff I did... 10 minute AMRAP of ascending weight clean and jerks (10 reps, starting at 95), and more rowing.  I only got to 135 for the weight on the bar for the C+J's, but it was a good weight for the workouts for me.  Towards the end, my calf was really letting me know about it on the jerk side of the movement.  My calf was why I do so much rowing... there was some rope (jump) work, some sprints, and a few other things that I'm just not ready for yet.

I might not be ready for them, but I wanted to get to the box and get something in...  I spent a lot of time doing calf raises on plates.  "Explosive" up, slow going back down.  Dennis is going to work with me on mobility stuff next time I see him... I think thats where we're at... and boy am I ready for that part.  I still can't walk at a full gait... it's like the muscles are just a wee bit short.  This also translates to the squat.  You know that position when you're at the bottom of a squat, or better yet, a goblet squat... I tried sitting down there, and my left side (the broke side) can't get as low as the right.  Like my leg just wont move like it used to, so I'm squatting at depth, but it feels like my left foot is 1-2" higher, like it's on a plate... so I lean to the side a bit.  I think it's funny, but I also want badly to fix it.  Patience! 

Ready to get back to a regular schedule.  This last workout was in the evening, and I'd been missing that group.  The morning crew is good, but they're just different, and I miss the people I'm used to.  LOL.  That, and I'm really not a fan of Jacobs music.  It's not that it's bad music, but it's just not the type of stuff I'm accustomed to working out with.  Give me some HipHop BBQ on Pandora any day.  This punk/metal/alternative stuff is for the birds. 

When I get back to a normal schedule, probably morning schedule, I'm going to start making a more concentrated effort to do some of Concept 2's rowing WODs after the normal WOD.  Need to start making a tangible dent in this bulk.  Feeling good with KETO//OS is good and looking better is great, but I want to fully transform dammit.  Journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step... so time to get steppin. 

Man Down: The Recovery

Should have shared this earlier, but I got some good news Wednesday afternoon.  I went and saw a local athletic trainer, highly recommended by one Ms. Diana Alt.  His name is Dennis Dolan, and among other things, he's actually an On Track coach that I've just never met.   Anyway, Diana told me to give him a shout, and he said come on by.  One of his offices is actually at a local (big) high school where he plys his trade.  I'll be candid, it was weird walking back into a high school after years away.  Some things never change...

He had me get up on a table, and proceeded to feel around on my calf, and was like *thumb press*  Here?  Then in another spot, *thumb press*  Here too?  Yep on both counts, he was right on where my issues where.  Next question, "nothing down here?" as he touched on everything from the base of the heel to the base of the calf.  Nope. 

Good news!

I sit up... ok, let me have it.

"Well, you don't have any achilles issues, which would be about 8 months of real recovery.  You've sheared some muscles in your calf." 

Now... the word sheared just.... it sounds bad.  But Dennis had me believe that I was going to be alright.  He gave me a lengthy breakdown in layman's terms of what was going on, and how to fix it.  Then he gave me some electrode therapy on the spot..... that was a first.  After that, he gave me a list of activities to do with no weight on my calf, and as soon as I was able, added calf raises with toes out, in, and straight to help rebuild the muscles.  Said if I did what he suggested, should be about 5 days, and I'd be good. 

Wait, 5 days.  Thats it?  Oh man, thats great news.  Monday will be day 5... and I'll be back in the box, regardless of how close I am.... I plan on taking it easy, but my calf already feels quite a bit better.  I've got  a noticeable limp, but it's getting better as well, need it to hurry up though, I'm ready to lift something heavy. 

Man down, man down!

Sometimes you just need a break.  This one wasn't so much a "need a break" as it's been forced on me.  I'm actually in the middle of a 7 day stint of 12 hour night shifts, which will be immediatly followed by 2 12 hour day shifts.  It's been hard to find time to get to the box, so I've focused on sleep and health.  Haven't done great at either, but what can ya do? 

It's already been a week since I've been to the gym, and it's likely to be anther 4-5 days minimum till I'm back in the box.  The work schedule doesn't help, but I managed to pick up my first injury, doing non CrossFit related things.  Short version, was helping push a truck onto a trailer, the driver stopped it short, and it started to roll down... I played the hero, and popped something in my calf. 

I thought a passing car had kicked a rock at me at first, then a half second later, holding the weight of this truck it was a "ooooh, nope, gotta move".  Lots of hopping on one leg and giggling.  First time I've ever pulled, popped, or stained something like this. 

Brother, who's a top notch massage therapist, and now in PT school, took a look at it, said everything felt fine, and that he thought I'd just popped the tendon around, and to RICE it.... well, more or less RICE, it.  We talked about the validity of RICE, then PRICE, then the natural inflammation responses.  It's on ice and elevated right now.  Not pressure treating it yet, keep flexing and moving the foot up and down, hope this goes away sooner than later.  Probably be a few days. 

Still.... I can't accurately describe the novelty of this to you.  I'm NEVER hurt like this... so it's super strange to have it finally happen...

Well alright, that's all I've got, just updated this for you and posterity.  Did want to send a shout out and congrats to my man Adam Scott, otherwise known as Big Ticket.  He tied the knot today with the Lovely Michelle... Scott now.  LOL.  Wish them both many many years of love, success, and happiness.  Congrats!!

ticket

15 more to go

So I saw this on FB today, and it's kinda how I felt after todays WOD.

It's not that the WOD was terrible, and I didn't do horrible, but still. 

It was a squat day, again.   Sounds like they're almost done with this hatch program.  Thank you!  I want to get in on the next one, but I hope they wait.  Did 3 rounds of 5, with increasing weight, and my knee was bugging me.  Actually, let me take a step back.  I woke up just a touch early, and I was ready to go, lets do this!!  Then I took my pre-game, and BOTH of my knees started to bitch out.  I mean it was like a full on conversation. 

"We don't wanna work out"

--Oh you gonna do some work today

"But we don't want to, lets go to bed, feel how sore we are"

--Sore from what?  Lets go

*introduce pain in both kneecaps*  "See, we're in no shape to WOD"

--Whatever, we're going. 

And so I went.  The back squats really tested my right knee though.  I couldn't tell if it was this bathroom phantom pain, or if somethings wrong.  I'm going with my knees just being a bit whiny.  Real or somewhat imagined pain aside, I'm really starting to hate back squats.  I utilized my glutes more again, and I'm getting comfortable with that, and I'm curious what a true "heavy" weight for me is with it... maybe I'll check it some other time.  

Front squats are money though.  I still went light, again, working on that glute explosion out of the hole, but overall, I like, maybe even enjoy front squats, especially when compared to back squats.  Got through those a lot quicker.  Might be a mental thing...

Workout was short today.  Squats, and then a short METCON.  10 minute limit.  15 calorie row buy in, 3 rounds of 21 wallballs, 12 box jumps, 6 burpees, and then cashing out with another 15 calorie row.  I almost did it.  I don't feel like I sandbagged this one at all.  The wallballs got painful quickly... squatting with wallballs... I get the concept, but I struggle mightily with the execution of this.  They were my biggest challenge.  I did 16" step ups, nothing terrible, but with the knee it was still a bit of a struggle.  The burpees... I stepped up for 4 of them total.  Tried to push through it all, had I found my dark place I might have made it, instead I got close.  Ended on my 4th calorie of the cash out.  Not terrible, but not finished. 

Other things:

Still haven't measured that jumprope.  HAHA.  It'll happen soon enough.  I just sold a jersey project years in the making, and have enough for a guilt free purchase. 

Took my before picture for my 30 day Pruvit pic.  Need to hop on a scale today... won't be great numbers, I've had 40oz of water, and some egg n sausage breakfast muffin/cupcakes already... so I guess I should say that won't be true numbers, but it'll be something to go off of.  I'm worried though.  Scared actually... like maybe it's gone up?  Clothes do fit better, or at least differently, but idk how thats going to transition on the scale.  Certainly not on pace for that 100lbs in the calendar year. 

Think I might have talked OT into getting some Junk headbands.  Can't wait. 

Speaking of OT, we've got SIX teams going to HOA this year.  Hope they do well.  It's close enough to go to, but I've got prior commitments all weekend.  Good luck guys n gals!

How's the sugar detox coming?

Alright... so this whole detox thing didn't go as planned.  LOL.  I'm to blame.  I think I took too big a swing, and my heart wasn't fully in it.  I did get what I wanted to get from it though, and that was getting back off of diet DP.  Was drinking a lot of it suddenly, so I needed to hop back off of that ride.  All good now.  The food hasn't been great, but it hasn't been that awful either.  Still need to find someones journal who's been eating on this N8tive ketosis diet, so I can mimic.  Some of these folks have had some great results in a month, and I want those results.  I'm still loving the mental benefits, the reduced inflammation, and sharpness I've gotten from Keto//OS, but now I want to see the weight loss benefits as well.

Saturday and Sunday we're pretty lax in my house.  Didn't do a whole lot of extra running around this week.  Did get the fittest man in KS to help me move a couch (don't know if I mentioned that in my last blog).  Thats pretty cool.  Almost killed him though, that part wasn't cool.  Cat allergies... though, in my limited defense, he mentioned them on the way over, and then said, nah, don't worry, we'll just go quick.  Then we got stuck...  another story for another day.  LOL


Anyway, moving on... I cherry picked the heck out of Mondays WOD.  It was heavy squats, then an AMRAP that had a segment of 30 wallballs.  I'm just now getting back to my feet following last Thursday, I didn't want to set myself up for a rough week, so I skipped it.  Tuesday was forecast to be much kinder to my posterior chain.  I'm sure I'll pay for the squats on Thursday... when we squat some more.  :) 

Did a fair variety of things at the box today, I'm on lunch, so I've got to be quick and can't get terribly specifics right now.  There was the warmup, which is always a good time, am I right?  We did an EMOM of pullups, and then an 2MOM of "more difficult" pullups.  Meant me having a band, then lowering the band...  Love that I'm using the bands now... feels better than the ring rows.  After that bit, we tackled a tabata of hollow rocks.  I didn't think I could get that tired, that quickly from hollow rocks... but, just like the squats, I had a movement redefinition, and now things are harder.  Good news all around, making things more difficult, but man it made this my least favorite part of todays WOD.  I don't really like stopping mid way through, or coming up short in the 20 seconds of work part. 

Next up was an 5 minute AMRAP of 8 bent over rows at a given weight (I used a very light 75), and then 4 bar over burpees.  IDK what my problem is, but those burpees were worse than normal.  I should have been just jumping up to my feet easily, but I couldn't find the extra juice button... did a few stepping up and down burpees... ug!


All this wonderful work transitioned into 8 minutes of escalating density training.  The non technical description is doing one movement till you can't do it as fast or as well as when you started, then immediately transitioning to another movement, and when you hit that same wall, you go back to the first movement.  Hang high pull, and push presses.  8 minutes.  My triceps are toast right now.  I mean my shoulders/traps are sore too, but my triceps took the brunt of this somehow.  8 minutes felt like a long time.... super spicy.

Follow up items from this are:  Measuring that GD RX jump rope.... still.  Getting protein for post workout recovery (looking at WheyCO out of DE).  Get a better diet plan.

Actually, the diet is looking good this week.  Mrs made some paleo breakfast and lunch meals, so that should go a long way to keeping me on the straight and narrow.  Very thankful for that.  Might not need the ketosis stuff if I'm eating paleo with extra fat... will keep you informed either way.

Came back to update it... this "enchilada" paleo stuff is pretty good.  Looks like cauliflower, hamburgers, some peppers... not sure what else.   

Another thing, this month of shoulder work... had me carrying myself differently... I feel like I was walking around shrugged up a little in the shoulders, so now, I actively try to keep my shoulders down, while keeping everything else right... something I learned form a month of shoulder mobility work in class.  Good times!

Feel like I got hit by a car...

Man, I'm a lucky dude.  The CrossFit Team Series has been going on (link here) and I happen to know and worked out with two of the 15 teams going into week 2.  I've got Madison Freeman and Taylor Williamson (from On Track and Establish), who were mentioned in the linked article by name, and then my girls Gia and Jaimie, along with Vinny Casey from CF Diamond State are in the hunt as well...   Really cool, considering Gia is the whole reason I'm even in CrossFit like I am.  Super proud of her and their team, and Mads and Taylors team as well.  Some people might read this and be like big whoop, I work out with <insert CF star here>.   Hey man/woman, thats great for you.  None of the boxes I worked out at had named CF athletes at any time... and weren't famous, so to start and go to these places, and see them get better as athletes and go compete, is pretty cool.  #groundfloor

Speaking of lucky though, had to move a couch, and was able to swing CrossFits fittest man in Kansas to help me out.  Think about that... recognized as the fittest CrossFitter in the state, and he's helping me move furniture.   #functionalfitness at it's finest.  Thanks for the help Brian. 

I hurt.  I woke up with the alarm at 0600, and man alive I didn't want to get out of bed.... actually, I wasn't going to get out of the bed, but the longer I laid there, half asleep, the longer I was able to goad myself into going in today.  So sore.... fundamentally changing my entire squat mechanics has had devastating effect on the rest of my body.  I mean I'm sure Cindy did her part too, but woweee.  Tomorrow is going to be brutal.  Feel like I've been in a car wreck... ug

So, what did I drag myself into?  45 minutes of 'cardio' day.  We had some sort of warmup, but then we got to bidness.  Lots of rounds of stuff... I can't remember it all, cause I didn't do it all.  LOL.  Just didn't get to it.  So... I was super sore getting there, and it took a while to work through that.  First bit was 3 rounds of 400m row, 21 Russian KBs, and 15 ring rows.  The ring rows slayed my hand today... hurt good... well bad actually... not the good hurt.  Anyway, I've been using a lax ball, and my hand is getting better... not sure what the black magic of the lax ball is doing, but I'll roll some more today for sure. 

Next up was 4 rounds of 15 abmat situps and 15 American KB swings.  Brah.  These situps were abnormally difficult.  The last two round I stopped waaaaaay too much.  I'm talking at least twice... and they're just situps... but man they were hurting.  I think part of my overall situp problem is just the fact that I don't breath very well during situps.  The KB swings weren't all that fun either.  LOL

Next set was 5 rounds of 200m row and 12 hang power cleans at 95#.  This one was difficult for the right reasons.  I had a few times during the cleans where I felt really good... really on point.  Looking back, I may have had the bar so far out in front of me that (in a bad way) that I didn't feel it on my stomach... and that might have been why they felt so good... less friction.  idk, but there were a few that felt perfect... and those were fast.  The rest were a concentrated effort... and there were even a few that were plain awful.  Taking the good with the bad here.

Last round I got into was a 6 rounder of 10 wallballs and 20 double unders.  I really didn't want to do this one... more squats.  Noooooooooo.  First set had me break it up, then I went for the jumprop.  Someone swiped my preferred rope again, so I grabbed this other one... and it wasn't right for me at all... I think I actually jumped over it 4 time...  tried to jump over it 20.   Next set of WBs was decent, only dropped it once.  Next set up jumping... I tried once more, didn't get over the rope... said forget it.  I just stood there and jumped 20 times.  LOL.  Don't judge me.  hahahaha.  Got tired of that rope man... it was it or me. 

Took that attitude into the last set of WBs I had time for.  Spectacular.  I'm not sure on the depth, but I strung all 10 together... amazing what you can do when you push yourself (coming up on time).

At time, almost everyone was on the floor.  I was too scared of not being able to get back up (I'm semi serious here), so I immediately started cleaning up.   Got that done, and I bounced.  I wasn't very happy with my performance, but the sweat that was freely flowing down my face (forgot my headband...), was evidence that I did something right. 

My only real gripe with getting up early, is the fact that I sweat for what seems like hours afterward.  This is me, on my way to the office (notice the collard shirt)... ridiculous. 

Welcome back! All My Love, Cindy

Took the last 7 days off... more of an accident and oversight than on purpose, but my quads probably appreciated it.  Actually, the last few days gave me a chance to re-valuate a few things in retrospect.  For instance, I picked up the nasty nasty habit of drinking diet soda.  I even went so far as to convince myself it was ok, KNOWING that it's not.  I tell ya, the dumb things we do to rationalize poor decisions...  Positive note though, taking the next 7 days to try and "detox" a bit.  Not fully committing to getting into a ketogenic state (ie little to no carbs), but I'm going to do without as much processed sugar (and it's substitutes) as I can handle.  Fruit will still be around to make it easier, but I really want to get away from a lot of that stuff, and get to where I can get on a Keto diet.  Baby steps.

Speaking of Ketosis, I'm on day 17 (or so) of working with Keto//OS.  Love it.  Mentally, I'm sharper than ever.  My energy levels are up all day long with no real dips.  Short version, I'm a believer.  All the testimonials I've read recently are all things I've experienced myself, and this stuff is awesome.  I've got about a months worth left, maybe a bit more.  My goal next week is to find a scale, take some pic's and measurements, and see what 30 days does.  I wasn't quite as forward thinking when I started... better late than never.  #pruvit #pruviteveryday

So a week off, and what better way to get back to it than with squats and Cindy.  Actually, I want to visit one of the reasons I hadn't been to the box in a while... my schedule.  I did those two 0530 classes last week, and then later in the week, I tried to work then do evening classes.  Things like soccer practice, people needing help, and other life events quickly derailed that.  So mornings are more and more looking like my jam.  Too bad, I really enjoy my evening people, going to miss them.  Sniffle sniffle.

Brings me to my new coach, Jacob.  He runs the show, and Brian (head coach/owner) assists and does other box things in the mornings, or so it seems.  One thing I've noticed at CrossFit, across the 5 boxes I've gone to, is that while the coaching is pretty consistent, each coach see things a little bit differently, and it's probably some psychology answer as to why that is, but still, they've each given me something different.  Today was Jacobs turns with the squats.  As you know, I've been struggling to find my squats since late Feb... and Jacob made it worse.

In a good way.

I grabbed some plates and began moving into the hatch squat progression, trying a few more squats, at more weight, just trying to get back into it, and my first set felt good to me.  He was like nah bruh.  I mean... not really like that, but he's came over and watched the second set, and had some very good feedback to give.  This whole time (even before Feb), I'd lifted more mid foot, so that makes it more of a quad movement for me...  Well, Jacob was having none of that.  He was like squeeze your glutes, get your hips under you faster/sooner.  Man alive.... drastic change to my lift.  I have to think about all the parts now... and frankly, I think this made it more difficult.... more difficult, but more correct, and eventually that will mean much more weight.

Short version of the story, I haven't been using my glutes as much as I should be... my butt is going to be sore tomorrow, and crybaby sore on Saturday.  Can't wait.

Cindy was as nasty as ever.  I didn't do a good job keeping track of reps, at all.  I did a few things different this time.  Banded pullups instead of ring rows, and ring pushups instead of knee pushups.  So I can't really compare it to my last time.  I hear we're doing it again in a month, so maybe I go faster next time yeah?

So these pullups... I try to make them strict, but sometimes I "bounce" at the bottom.  Makes them a lot easier to get over the bar, but I feel like it cheats me a bit, so I try not too.

The ring pushups, I find them to be infinitely more difficult than regular pushups, or knee pushups.  Trying to keep palms facing in order to keep the elbows from flaring... just not that fun a time.  Add to it that I've got some hand problems right now, and it was a special kind of torture.  The hand issue is this, when I squeeze my hand into a fist, it hurts on both sides of the middle finger hurt as well... So more than a few times I stopped and shook out my hand during these exercises.

I don't know how many rounds I did, I stopped counting.  I want to say 7, maybe 8, but I'm not sure.  Need to get faster either way, but more so if it's only 7.

Thats everything I've got for now, glad to be back at it, but I'm already sore today.  Forgot to roll out this morning as well, might be part of the problem.  

Are you asking yourself the right question?

Everybody wants what feels good.  Everyone wants to live a carefree, happy, and easy life.  To fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect, make money and be popular.  To be well-respected and admired to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.

Everyone would like that — it’s easy to like that.

If I asked you, “What do you want out of life?” what would you say?  I'd wager most people are going to say something like, “I want to be happy, have a great family, and a job I like”.  That is so ubiquitous that it doesn’t even mean anything.  It's not measurable, not defined.

A more interesting question to ask, a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before, is "What pain do you want in your life?"  To put it a little bit better, what are you willing to struggle for?  What are you going to fight for?  These questions seem to be a far greater determinant of how our lives turn out than "what do you want out of life?"

I mean really... you've probably asked that first question too.  “What do I want out of life?”  Everybody wants to have an amazing job, financial independence, to look good naked — but not everyone wants to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork.  Not everyone wants to put in those extra sets, do grueling WODs, plan their meals, or even bother going to a gym.  People want to be rich and fit without the risk, without the sacrifice, without the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate that wealth and good health.

Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship — but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversations, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there.  So they settle.  They settle and wonder “What if?” for years and years and until the question morphs from “What if?” into “Was that it?”  And when the lawyers go home and the alimony check is in the mail they say, “What was that for?” if not for their lowered standards and expectations 20 years prior, then what for?

Happiness requires struggle, fitness requires struggle, gaining financial independence requires struggle.  The positives are the side effect of handling the negatives.  You can only avoid negative experiences for so long before they come roaring back to life.

At the core of all human behavior, our needs are more or less the same.  Positive experiences are always easier to handle, you look forward to those positive experiences.  It’s the negative experiences that we all struggle with.  We tend to avoid confrontation, failure, and all the other negatives in life.  They’re not easy.  They ain’t fun.  In the end, what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire, but by what bad feelings we’re willing and able to sustain to get us to those good feelings.

People want an amazing physique.  You don’t end up with one unless you appreciate and value the pain and physical stress that comes with living inside a gym for hour upon hour, unless you love calculating and calibrating the food you eat, planning your life out into smaller plate-sized portions.  What was it Rocky said?  “You've got to be willing to take the hits!”  

People want to start their own business or become financially independent.  But you don’t end up a successful entrepreneur unless you find a way to appreciate the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and working insane hours on something you love, having no idea whether you will be successful or not.  No risk, no reward. 

People want a partner, a spouse, someone to share their lives with. But you don’t end up attracting someone amazing without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings.  It’s part of the game of love.  You can’t win if you don’t play.

Perhaps you don’t want any of those things, but you do want something, but maybe you didn’t understand the level of commitment.  Or, maybe you understood the commitment but the fear of failure made it easier to quit or not even try, rather than face the level of struggle you might have to endure.  Sometimes it’s easier mentally to not try or start something you know will require hard work.  We’ve all had trials we’ve endured that had we known how awful or hard it was going to be, we may not have even started.  Hard to say.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s more satisfied with the end result when I’ve gone through a struggle.  

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?”  The question is really, “What pain are you willing to sustain?”  The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but the quality of your negative experiences.  To get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life. 

There’s a lot of crappy advice out there that says, “You’ve just got to want it enough!”

Everybody wants something.  Everybody wants something enough. Most just aren’t aware of what it is they want, or rather, what they want “enough.” 

If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want or at least be willing to pay the costs.  If you want that beach body, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs.  If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off one person.... or ten thousand.

If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image or a false promise.  Maybe what you want isn’t what you want, you just enjoy wanting.  Maybe you don’t actually want it at all. 

“How do you choose to suffer?”  I ask because that tells me far more about you than your desires and fantasies.  It forces you to choose something.  You can’t have a pain-free life.  You already know that, you already know that it's not all sunshine and rainbows.  That is precisely why this question matters, why it's an important question to ask.  Pleasure, fun, those are easy questions to answer, and we've all got remarkably similar answers.  The more interesting question is the pain.  What is the pain that you want to sustain?  What are you willing to endure? 

Those answers will actually get you somewhere. Those are the questions that can change your life.  It’s what makes me me and you you.  It’s what defines us, separates us, and ultimately brings us together.

For years, not long after high school, I wanted to earn the title, to become a Marine.  I went to recruiters, I read books, internet articles, talked to Marines.  I'd imagine being a Marine, wearing those dress blues, serving my country, winning the fight, and getting the girl.  This dream kept me occupied for hours at a time.  It continued through 9/11, through meeting my eventual wife, through getting married, through gaining weight, hell, I still think about it today.  For a time, it was never a question of if I’d ever be one, but when.  I always found myself waiting for something.  I need the money for new shoes.  I need more time.  I need to get a juicer so I can eat better.  I need I need I need... and then nothing.  

Despite "wanting" this for the past decade, the reality never came.  It took me a long time and a lot of negative experiences to finally figure out why: I didn’t actually want it.

I was in love with the result — the image of me in dress blues, playing real life Call of Duty, me being the hero, saving lives and defending freedom — but I wasn’t in love with the process.  And because of that, I failed at it.  Repeatedly.  I didn’t even try hard enough to fail at it.  I hardly tried at all.  

The daily drudgery of running, working out, the time it takes to prep proper meals.  The shin splints, crappy weather, the being alone while running in the early morning.  Earning the title of Marine is a mountain of a dream with a mile-high climb to the top. What took me a long time to discover is that I didn’t like to climb (or run) very much. I just liked to imagine life at the top, the after effects of the struggle, and the prestige of having the title Marine. 

Our culture would tell me that I’ve somehow failed myself, that I’m a quitter or a loser.  Self-help would say that I either wasn’t courageous enough, determined enough or I didn’t believe in myself enough.  The entrepreneurial/start up crowd would tell me that I chickened out on my dream and gave in to my conventional social conditioning.  I’d be told to do affirmations or join a mastermind group or manifest or something. 

The truth is far less interesting than that: I thought I wanted something, but it turns out I didn’t.  End of story.

I wanted the reward and not the struggle.  I wanted the result and not the process.  I was in love not with the fight but only the victory.  Life doesn’t work that way, at least not for most of us.

Who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for.  People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape.  People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it.  People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.

This is not a call for willpower or “grit.”  This is not another admonishment of “no pain, no gain.” 

This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes. 

So choose your struggles wisely, my friends.





I want to give a lot (read: almost all) of the credit for this post to Mark Manson and his article The Most Important Question of Your Life. Go give it a read.