This is a bit of an internal discussion, so it's going to be all over the place.
I could give you a bunch of heady words, platitudes, hard luck stories... I could write up a lot of excuses as to why I am where I am, but I won't. Truth is, I've been in a rut and have been unable to motivate myself to do anything. 3 months of dues to On Track, and I'd been a total of 3 times. Now, sure, I was injured for a spell. Had training for a spell. Then there were 3 weeks where I made zero MF effort to go to the box.
ZERO.
I showed up 3 times, and worked out by myself in the second gym. But it wasn't the same. I'm unmotivated. My sense of community is gone. I'm gone.
So I quit. I've left On Track.
What now?
Well, I've spent that past 2 weeks working too much. Most of it for "the man", but part of it on my own creation. I want to spread those entrepreneurial wings.... will likely make a second blog just for that. As for the fitness part, I'm giving CrossFit a break. I need the break from it, or at least thats how I'm rationalizing it.
Ok.... so what does that mean for the blog? Great question. Short answer, I don't know. I mean I'm not going to be Crossfitting, per se. I'm starting a classing Wendler lifting regime tomorrow, and I'll keep posting things in here about my fitness journey. My goals are still the same, and with this, I'm going to focus more on my strength and hitting my strength and weight loss goals from previous goal sheets.
I want to get back to CrossFit. I WILL get back to CrossFit, but it's going to be a few months of near solitary strength training with cardio tossed in for good measure. On Track is, to use big business jargon, making the pivot. They've had a bit of turnover in coaches and elite athletes, and they're making a more "gen pop/community" style box, which is probably a FANTASTIC move. It's come too late to save me, as I liked the community there, but never fell in love like I did in not 1, but 2 Delaware boxes. Still miss those folks something fierce, I have to say.
I'm hoping the time away gives me a chance to really miss my KS folks. There are some awesome people in there, and I miss a few of them already, but I need to get back on my path, and this is the way I'm choosing to do it.
If I didn't say it before, the company gym is where I'm making my home. Looking at 10am-ish workout sessions on most days. Beat the lunch crowd. Also, this is going to allow me the luxury of being able to make sure I have all my supplements nearby and easily accessible. Not that they couldn't have been brought with me, but I've never successfully lived out of a gym bag. Having the protein at my desk is going to make it simpler for me, and hopefully simple = success.
I'm going to keep posting here as my journey to fitness continues. I've been finding little bits of motivation here and there the past 2 weeks. Met a bunch of cool dudes at Polo's wedding last weekend as a plus size, I want to destroy the image I left them with so the next time they come up to KC, I'll be a trimmer dude. One guy, Mr. Striplin, even asked me how CrossFit was going. Be honest, not the question I was expecting from someone I'd never met face to face before. Obviously it wasn't going as well as I'd hoped (remember the 60 in 60 pledge?), so next time, I need progress to show him. Also had a photo show up today from 5 years ago when I was larger than I am today. Its the size I still feel I am right now... nothing like that to be like HEY, BUDDY, YOU AIN'T THERE YET!! This isn't the sort of thing that I can fake it till I make it in.
Anyway, I'm really starting to go all over the place mentally with the things I want to write. It's 5:30 and I need to go home, it's been a long day at work. Get some good rest and start fresh tomorrow. Thanks for following, stay with me, we're going to get there, even if it takes a little bit longer.
Apologies for spelling/grammar errors, it really had been a loooooong day. Cheers.
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